Falling Into The Season Of Me
This current season of my life feels very much like fall. Things are shifting — nudging me inward, inviting me to do the inner work that prepares me for winter and the darker days ahead. But if I’m honest, a part of me dreads what’s coming: the longer nights, the shorter days, the cooler air that pushes us inside.
There’s something about the darkness that feels uneasy. The lack of vitamin D, the closeness of being indoors with my children day after day. I love them with every part of me, but I also love my space — my me-time.
The last few days have been especially rough. My baby was sick with a fever, and while I tended to him, of course everyone else had their own needs too. I had to really ground myself, choosing moment by moment what was most important and what could wait.
In the midst of it, we caved and brought the TV into the mix. It gave us a chance to rest together on the couch, but I noticed the ripple effect in my older two. Suddenly bedtime was a struggle. There was more fighting, more resistance, more outbursts. They leaned heavier on me — wanting me to solve their boredom, sit with their feelings, guide them through the big emotions they didn’t want to face alone. And when I didn’t, the resentment bubbled.
All of this has had me reflecting on rhythms — mine, theirs, and even my husband Kyle’s. Men, it seems, can thrive on a steady routine: up at 4 a.m., workout, work, repeat. Meanwhile, women live by a different current. We are the ebb and flow, constantly shifting. Our cycles echo the moon, with death and rebirth woven into every month. It’s beautiful, yes —but also exhausting.
That word keeps circling back: exhausting. And yet, I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit for the weight we carry in this dance of ever-changing energy.
So my hope, for myself and for every woman reading this, is that we find grace in these next few weeks. Grace to go through what we’re going through. Grace to be both the light and the shadow. Grace to rest when we need it most.
My invitation is simple: journal on it. (And I laugh because I know I may or may not take my own advice — depending on how much motherhood pulls me back into the thick of it.) But I am holding a new priority: taking care of myself first. Because I truly believe when our cups are full, abundance has no choice but to overflow.
Peace, Love and In Service,
- Rebecca
